


With Love, From Hell

by MRTL85



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Chloe Decker Needs A Hug, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Finding out how Lucifer had the demons notify him about the detective and Mr. SOB, Hurt Chloe Decker, Hurt Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV), Lucifer Feels, Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV) Needs A Hug, Maze and Chloe working together, My First Work in This Fandom, Panic Attacks, between end of S4 and beginning of S5, dealing with seperation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:16:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26735752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MRTL85/pseuds/MRTL85
Summary: Lucifer keeps an eye on his detective once he's back in Hell to make sure she's alright. When he hears her shout his name in distress Luci goes to investigate, fearing the worst.
Relationships: Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar
Comments: 49
Kudos: 158





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I will update this fic on Fridays and Wednesdays for those that are interested ; )

_Lucifer!_

He was wandering aimlessly in the bowels of hell when it happened, taking him completely by surprise. Chloe’s voice resounded in his head, coming from everywhere and nowhere all at once. It set his ears ringing, tearing him from his tormented thoughts. Dread flooded his being. Chloe was in Danger—she had to be. Sensing her distress, he ascended upward without a second thought. Lucifer had to ensure she was alright. He might be stuck in hell for the rest of eternity but at the very least he could ensure she remained unharmed. She deserved that much. Lucifer landed and looked around, distraught and fearing the worst.

He found himself in Chloe’s bedroom and at the foot of her bed.

_Oh._

She wasn’t in danger at all. She was dreaming – no, she was plagued with a nightmare, more like. Well that explained the unbridled panic he felt coming from her. Lucifer let a relieved sigh escape out from his lips. She was safe, thank Dad.

He crept closer to the head of her bed.

“Lucifer.” Chloe begged in her sleep, “don’t go. Please...” Her body abruptly turned over kicking the blanket off her pyjama clad body. He could just make out the silhouette of her face, partially illuminated by the moonlight streaming through a gap in her curtains. It ghosted across her cheek, which now he could see was damp with her tears. Tears for him and because of him. Tears that echoed each beat of his own broken heart.

Lucifer’s brows etched together, deep with guilt at seeing her so affected from his departure. He wished more than anything to be able to take the pain away, but he knew it was futile. “Oh detective- _Chloe_ ,” he whispered into the semi darkness, “I wish more than anything that things were different. I wish I could throw caution to the wind, but we both know I can’t do that. Hell needs to stay contained for everyone’s sake, including yours. The cost would be too great, no matter how much we both want it otherwise.” He let out a heavy sigh. “Uneasy is the head that wears a crown, but if there was ever a way I could stay, know I would do so in a heartbeat. For you, always.”

Chloe flipped over onto her other side, letting out a quiet sob as her hair loosely splayed out over her damp face. “Lucifer no, come back please... I need you...”

Tears began to prick at his eyes as he watched her in her anguish filled sleep, his heart left in tattered ribbons caged within his ribs. Seeing her in such a state brought him rushing back to their goodbye at Lux. Her nightmare was reminiscent of a hell loop—mirroring of the one he, himself experienced every day he woke up without her by his side.

It was torment like no other.

Lucifer moved ever closer, drinking in the soft skin of her face and golden hair that flowed out like a halo on her pillow. He couldn’t resist. The temptation to touch her was much too great. Standing over her, he bent down and brushed the wayward strands of hair gently off her tear streaked face. Then, feeling especially bold when she didn’t wake, he pressed his lips softly to the apple of her tear stained cheek. Lucifer hovered over her for a few moments, letting himself drink her features in, committing every line and freckle to memory knowing that this may be his last chance to.

The urge to stay grew within him as he looked on. It would be so quite easy to say, ‘fuck it’ and take his place next to her on the bed, pulling her into his arms and surprising her as she woke up next to him. Or perhaps he would wake her with a multitude of tender kisses placed reverently upon her closed eyes, cheeks, and forehead. That way he could observe the remnants of her sleep fall away, changing to joy at finding him beside her. Watching that would no doubt send his heart alight. He knew he could not stay though. This flight of fancy would just have to stay locked away in his mind.

Standing back up from his bent position, he took one last forlorn look before leaving her to her dreams. It seemed her nightmare was no longer vexing her, and she’d settled into a peaceful sleep, her breathing shallow and even. Lucifer gave a small smile and backed away solemnly, knowing he couldn’t stay any longer. The infernal city called to him, pulling him with it’s cloying tendrils. He hated it with every fibre of his being and yet, he couldn’t escape it. It was his duty after all. It broke his heart all over again to leave her side, but the recollection of it would be cherished like no other. At least she was left unawares. That would make things easier and would hurt her far less than if she had knowledge of his unintended visit. He would willingly carry the pain for them both.

Giving a nod, Lucifer fortified his resolve and took flight. With a downward stroke of his magnificent white wings, he took off between worlds in the direction of Hell, leaving not a trace behind.

~i~

Chloe awoke with a start as she felt an unusual gust of wind blow over her and the faint scent of expensive cologne hit her nose. In an instant she bolted upright, frantically searching her room for any trace of the man she loved.

“Lucifer? Lucifer?!” She whisper-yelled out into her room.

Nothing. No dark hair and eyes staring back at her. No charming smile or token suit and meticulously placed pocket square.

_Nothing_.

Her room was just as she left it, not a thing out of place. Crestfallen, Chloe blew her nose with a tissue and wiped away the remainder of tears that clung to her cheeks. Dammit, she must have been crying in her sleep again. Well, what did she really expect when the dream was of loosing Lucifer all over again. It was very strange though. Unlike every other time she had dreamt of him, this time she could have sworn he had been in her room. Something didn’t add up. She couldn’t have imagined it, but if he had been in her room, why hadn’t he stayed? Why did he leave without a hello? Or even a goodbye? Her eyes pricked with fresh tears at the thought. No. He must have had a reason to leave without letting her know. He wouldn’t do that to her. Not after they’d confessed their feelings to each other.

Getting out of bed, she crept slowly to the bathroom to relieve herself.

In the weeks since his departure Chloe buried herself with work or taking care of Trixie, trying to keep the pain and the heartache at bay. When Trixie was at Dan’s, she chose to hang out with Maze at Lux and drink her sorrows away. Or dance. Or both. It was the only way she knew how to keep thoughts of him from flooding her mind. It seemed to work relatively well too. Except for the nights where Trixie was tucked up tight in her bed downstairs and she was left to her own devices, of course. It was when all was quiet, and she was in bed with nothing better to occupy her time that her mind would drift to thinking of him. She would toss and turn for hours, wondering if he was alright or if he was thinking of her like she was thinking of him. Then, when sleep finally came to her, she dreamt of him – sometimes of them meeting again, but most times it was of their last goodbye. She would relive it over again, each time more painful than the last. It had been a month, but it never seemed to get any easier.

Finishing her business, Chloe stood at the sink, pushing her bangs out of her face, and looking at herself in the mirror. The dark circles and her bloodshot eyes were more pronounced than ever in the incandescent lighting. She felt as haggard as she looked. Hopefully, she could get a few more hours of sleep to remedy that. Chloe turned on the tap and let the water wash over her hands for a minute before scrubbing them with soap and rinsing it off. She then grabbed a washcloth, wet it with cold water and brought it to her face. The cool feeling felt incredibly soothing on her warm skin and puffy eyes. After a few moments she pulled it off feeling a bit less rundown and returned to her bedroom, careful to be quiet as she would hate to wake Trixie at this hour.

Chloe sat on the bed, washcloth still in hand and let out a heavy sigh. Her thoughts began to plague her. If Lucifer had come, what had brought him here? And why in the middle of the night? Did he not want her to know? Did he always keep an eye on her like this or was this just a one-off kind of thing? Too many questions that needed answers. Answers that probably wouldn’t even be able to be answered. Not right now, anyways.

Chloe needed sleep. Now was not the time—she needed to be up in a few short hours anyway. Laying back on her pillow, she placed the washcloth over her eyes and tried to clear her mind. The thoughts were intrusive, and no matter what she did they still pushed their way into the forefront of her mind. Chloe eventually gave up, and let them run rampant until she fell asleep, exhausted.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer has a difficult time with his emotions and Chloe invites Maze to help out on cases

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got about 740 words down on chapter three. I'm hoping I can get enough down this weekend to be able to post on Wednesday. It may be a day or so late, just so I can have it properly beta'd for you all. Also, I am wondering if it's not gonna go from 3 to 4 chapters as there is just a bit more to tell than I think chapter 3 can hold. We'll see. Thanks for reading!

Lucifer landed on his throne and sat upon the cold stone, defeated. Seeing the detective again had stirred all sorts of emotions in him. Since returning the infernal city 1000 years ago, he had tried to keep as busy as possible and, in that preoccupation, he found a sense of solace. Doing away with Dromos the insubordinate slew of demons that followed him certainly helped. It allowed him barely any time to dwell on the past thankfully and what he had left behind. _Who_ he left behind. It had been much better that way—deliberately avoiding the pain so he could get on with what he needed to do.

But now? After he had seen her?

It made it impossible to keep the thoughts caged away. All those memories he had locked deep down had broken free and were bombarding him. There was nothing he could do to stop the flood of emotions from drowning him now. The wall had crumbled, and he was left utterly exposed and alone. Rage swelled within him at his forced confinement and a guttural roar ripped out of his throat, echoing against the many facets of Hell’s striated columns. Lucifer took flight, trying desperately to flee the barrage of excruciating feelings. Finding a horde of demons, he dove at them, forcing them to scatter in terror of their King. Lucifer’s eyes flared crimson in fury as his alabaster skin transformed into a visage of burnt red when he landed heavily on the ashen coloured floor.

He grabbed at a basalt pillar and broke it clean off in his ferocity, throwing it like a javelin into the group of cowering demonic subjects that had chosen to stay. They fled just in time for it to shatter against the stone wall behind them, spraying shards of rock in all directions. Lucifer let out another visceral roar, loud enough this time for Hell to respond with a shudder, sputtering flames and sparks up through the cracks in the ground around him.

Everything he had ever loved had been taken from him. The choice had been ripped from his bloody hands, with no regard for what he wanted. The unfairness of it all was infuriating! It was times like this he was so tempted to revert to his old self, the one from the garden, the one who couldn’t give a damn about what happened to Dad’s precious human race. But he had changed, and Chloe was the who had helped him realize that. She made him want to be a better man, and she wouldn’t want this.

The recognition hit him like a ton of bricks, so much so it pulled him out of his rage in an instant. Falling to his knees, his devilishness changed just as quickly as it was brought on, leaving only his humanistic features in place. With his head in his hands, he couldn’t take it anymore. Lucifer broke down and wept. He wept for the loss of his love, the loss of his home and the loss of his family. For his revived imprisonment in Hell and for carrying the soul responsibility of keeping those he cared for, safe.

_At least they were safe. She was safe now too. That’s all that mattered._

By the time he had calmed himself, his hands were slick with tears. He stood, taking the red square out of his breast pocket, and wiped away the evidence of his emotional outburst before tucking it neatly back in. Other than his eyes feeling a bit puffy, no one would be the wiser of his unintended outpouring of emotions, thankfully.

“Lord Morningstar? A- are you alright?”

_Bloody hell._

Slowly, he turned around to find some of the stragglers who he had unintentionally raged at. They were staring at him, dumbfounded. The one who had voiced the question was standing between him and the confused group.

“Yes, Salios I am fine, thank you.” Lucifer bent down and dusted off his slacks to avoid the small gathering of demons staring at him. Best to play aloof and not let them suspect he had gone soft. “I would like you to gather everyone and meet me in the atrium. I have something to discuss with you all.” Standing up, he fixed his cuff links.

Salios nodded. “Of course, my Lord. Right away.” He turned to the few demons who were still lollygagging and directed them out of sight.

Lucifer sighed in relief. _Note to self, no more emotional outbursts of any sort. Especially in the halls._

In a moment of weakness, he had let his thoughts take over and into dangerous territory. Dangerous indeed. Especially when he knew the deep wound, he still had in his heart had been torn wide again and in front of some demons no less. Showing such a weakness would send the horde gossiping and questioning his rule. He couldn’t have that. Not after he worked so hard to destroy any sign of mutiny among them.

Lucifer began to amble through the winding hallways toward the atrium with his hands in his pockets, kicking stray pebbles out of his path. Flying was much more convenient, but he wanted to give some more thought to what he was going to say to the legion of Hell’s finest and to give Salios time to gather them.

Lucifer obviously couldn’t visit the detective again, not if he ended up having an outburst like that. He needed some way that would keep a degree of separation between Chloe and him but still keep tabs on her. Getting the horde to notify him if any souls came from the Los Angeles area who had been involved in or had been murdered seemed the best bet at this point. It was a much better plan than personally keeping an eye on her and having it backfire like it did. Not to kick a gift horse though, he did enjoy the small slice of time he got to see her. It also wreaked havoc on him emotionally and he couldn’t afford another slip up like that.

~i~

It had been two weeks since Chloe had made the decision to ask Maze if she would help on cases, and so far, so good. It was nice to have someone around again to bounce ideas off and if she was honest, fill the hole that Lucifer had left. Sure, Maze was a bit on the nose, but she had come to expect that. It wasn’t like she hadn’t dealt with that before anyway. Maze seemed to be fitting into her new role too, and looking at what they had both lost, it made sense that they would look toward each other for support. In some odd way it helped without acknowledging the elephant in the room.

“Chloe. Chloe!” Maze snapped her fingers in front of her face.

“Oh Sorry, I zoned out,” Chloe blinked and shook the cobwebs out of her head.

Maze crossed her arms and waited expectantly. “Well, are we going to go get that scum bag, or what?”

“Uh, yep. The warrant just came in, so we should be good to go.”

“Well, what are we waiting for, then?” Maze rolled her eyes.

Chloe gave a tight-lipped smile and pointed toward the stairs exiting the bullpen. “Right. After you.”

They walked to Chloe’s car in silence, Maze bristling to get her hands on the perp and no doubt rough him up a bit. Admittedly, Maze had gotten better about how roughed up the suspects ended up before being brought in, but Chloe knew not to expect any more than that. That was Maze, and being a torturer was in her blood. Quite frankly, they worked well together. Chloe chalked it up to their long standing—yet at times rocky—friendship. Maze knew what to expect with her and she could reel Maze in if things got too... physical. It was the right choice to work together, for sure. It definitely beat trying to find an unfamiliar partner and having to work out all the awkwardness and kinks and for that, the was immensely thankful.

She parked the car and they got out. Maze beelined it for the door and kicked it in without a moment’s thought. Chloe grimaced. _Well there goes the element of surprise._ She pulled out her gun quickly and rushed toward her partner who was already entering the building.

“Maze? Maze!”

A scuffle and a thump were heard from upstairs, and Chloe rushed toward the sound. She found them in the hallway, Maze twisting his arm and wrist into a pretzel behind his back as he cried out in pain.

“I found the sleazeball in his bedroom trying to escape out the window.” Maze slammed him into the wall and another loud yelp came from him. Looking at the perp, Maze growled out “Shut up! Your lucky I didn’t push you out.”

Chloe sighed inwardly. “Okay, Maze. That’s enough. We should get him into the squad car and back to the precinct.”

“What? That’s no fair. You told me I could rough him up!”

“And you did. So, lets go,” Chloe pointed back down the stairs.

“You think that’s roughing him up?” Maze scoffed. “Do you even know me? Like come on! Not even a broken leg?”

“No Maze. No broken legs! Let’s go.”

Maze growled in frustration. “Fine. I’ll break his finger instead.” She wrenched his middle finger in the wrong direction causing the man in custody to let out a pain filled scream that echoed off the walls. Chloe rolled her eyes and sighed.

“Here,” Chloe said handing her handcuffs to Maze and waved her hand toward the stairwell again. “After you.”

They made their way downstairs, Maze ignoring his cries and occasionally bashing him into a wall when he faltered. When they got out to the car, Chloe opened the passenger door and Maze threw him in, slamming the door shut behind him.

Maze looked pleased with herself. Chloe smiled. She knew how much restraint Maze had shown today and was impressed. Maybe she was rubbing off on Maze. She liked to think so, at least.

They got back into the car and drove back to the precinct, each happy with their respective outcomes – another killer caught and punished.


	3. chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer makes an announcement, and Chloe asks for some angelic help with a problem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for posting comments and liking this little ficlet of mine! I really appreciate it! And thank you to @_booksbyj_ on twitter for beta reading this for me. You are a treasure!
> 
> 10/10/20
> 
> It looks like you'll have to wait a bit longer for chapter 4, as @_booksbyj_ has been VERY busy as of late. This lady is a whirlwind, I tell you. She works full time, has kids and is a published author so I am in no position to hurry her along. Thanks for being patient though everyone, we both appreciate it.

Lucifer needed a drink. The infernal palace wasn’t far now. He’d just make a pit stop and then meet everyone out in the atrium like he had planned.

It didn’t take long for him to see the palace’s spires looking like broken bones on the horizon and by the time he reached his destination, he could see throngs of demons gathered off to the far side. Thankfully entering the palace was an easy affair. No one wishing to accost him just yet thankfully.

Lucifer went straight to the bar and poured himself a generous amount of scotch from his crystal decanter and threw it back in an instant. The burn of the alcohol flowed down into his stomach, centring him as he let out a grateful sigh. Another generous pour went into his glass not an instant later, replacing the amber liquid as if it had never left. After an unprecedented outburst, that is exactly what he needed. He took a sip and held it aloft, lost in thought for a moment.

Someone cleared their throat behind him, and Lucifer turned.

Salios bowed. “My lord, the horde is ready to hear what you have to say.”

“Right, I’ll be there in just a moment. Thank you Salios.” Lucifer nodded to dismiss the Demon.

He ambled toward the balcony that overlooked the atrium and peeked out at the sea of heads waiting to be addressed by their king. They were getting restless, he could tell. Lucifer took one last sip from his crystal glass and placed it down on the nearby table before walking out onto the balcony.

As he stepped out, the crowd cheered. He let them express their praises for a few minutes before raising his hands above his head to silence them.

Lucifer cleared his throat. “Demons, thank you all for coming! I greatly appreciate all of you taking the time out of torturing to join me this evening. What I have to ask of you is of grave importance and I cannot implement it without all of you.” He scanned the masses for any form of impending opposition. So far, none of the demons looked openly defiant. Good. “I am to be personally notified if there is any mention of Los Angeles, murder or Detective Chloe Decker on your dockets for all incoming souls, do I make myself clear? Now, if any of you do not report back to me with this information, know that you will be made an example of. And we all know what happened the last time, don’t we?” The crowd let out an affirmative murmur. “Good! I’m glad we are in all agreeance. You are all dismissed!”

Without another thought, he turned from the open balcony and headed back inside to hide. Thank Dad that was done. Now he could relax for a bit. He grabbed his abandoned glass off the coffee table and flopped down on his leather settee with it, a heavy groan escaping from between his lips. The glass precariously hung from his fingers over the arm of the sofa and his other arm was draped over his eyes. He was exhausted. Weeping earlier had caught up to him – a dull ache was forming in his head and his eyelids now felt much too heavy for the hour. Lucifer lifted the glass to his lips and took a sip. What he would do for some Macallan Sherry Oak Scotch or some Willett Family Estate Bourbon right about now. No liquor in Hell could possibly compare with what he had stocked up in his personal bar. And what a shame it would be unlikely that he’d get back to it before it got pilfered by Maze or he rather hoped, by Chloe. He sincerely wished for it was the latter. At least if Chloe had gotten a hold of his booze, he’d still have some left. It led him to wonder what the detective was up to right that minute. Would she be working? Or picking up the urchin from school perhaps? Or maybe she had decided to find her way up to his penthouse and made herself at home for the evening. Maybe even waiting for him to come back?

His eyes pricked with unshed tears and he grit his teeth trying to push the sadness away. The pain in his head throbbed in reply, drumming out a steady beat against his eyelids. No more. He didn’t want to have another continuation of the afternoon’s ebullition. He needed rest. Picking himself up off the settee, he set his empty glass on the coffee table and made his way into his room, lying face down on the bed. The soft blanket felt nice on his face as his eyes closed, shutting out all remnants of Hell. Lying here, he could almost pretend he was back in his penthouse on Earth.

Almost.

His suite in Hell resembled it enough. Perhaps, if he really indulged himself, he’d let his mind trick him into thinking Chloe was sitting beside him on the bed, carding her hand through his hair and kissing the crook of his neck. Lucifer hummed appreciatively. He hoped if they met again – no, once they were reunited, as he couldn’t even consider the alternative right now – their reunion would be something akin to this. Full of affection and soft touches. Lucifer let his innocent fantasy continue to play out, letting his mind feign Chloe’s existence in his room until his dreams took over.

~i~

Chloe pulled up to the curb outside of Linda’s and waited for Maze to appear. Trixie was with Dan for the next few days, so tonight was the perfect time to get away from it all at Lux. That and she needed to speak to Amenadiel about something, so why not kill two birds with one stone?

The passenger door opened, and Maze appeared. “Hey Decker. You ready?”

“Um, yeah, lets do this,” Chloe said with more enthusiasm than she felt.

Maze got in and closed the door. “You okay Chloe?”

“Yeah, I’m good. Just excited to do some drinking and dancing is all,” Chloe gave a fake smile. She wasn’t really doing well hiding her nervousness and she knew Maze could tell something was up.

Maze narrowed her eyes. “Right. Exited.”

Yep, definitely suspicious. Chloe pivoted away from Maze’s scrutinizing stare and turned the car on to avoid any further questions. Pulling away from the curb she drove into the night without another word. She was thankful that Maze accepted the silence she offered, and it continued all the way until they parked.

“So, do you wanna dance first or drink?”

Chloe’s stomach began to flutter. “Drinks first, then dancing, I think. That okay with you?”

“Hell yeah it is.”

They got to the front doors of Lux and the bouncer lifted the red theatre rope to let them through with a nod. There were definitely perks to knowing the club owner and Chloe smiled at the flash of Lucifer that her memory provided. She missed him so much. Hopefully tonight would help with that.

They dropped their coats and bags off at the coat check and made it through the gaggle of people dancing to the bar.

Maze waved the bartender over. “Hey, Marcus. Bring us the good stuff and leave the bottle.”

“Coming up. Here you ladies go,” Marcus left the bottle and two shot glasses in front of Maze and Chloe.

The music was loud and upbeat as they drank. After a handful of shots, Chloe felt her inhibitions start to wane. “Maze let’s dance! I love this song!” she giggled and bobbed her head to the music. Grabbing Maze’s hand, she pulled her off toward the dance floor. They weaved through the throng of patrons and found a spot.

Chloe didn’t want to admit it, but she really enjoyed letting go like this. It helped. And having Maze with her made it easier for her to pretend things were fine. That she was fine. That Lucifer wasn’t gone, and he was merely upstairs in his penthouse getting ready to come mingle with the guests. It was so much easier then dealing the truth. She bounced and swayed to the music with Maze, her head feeling pleasantly sluggish compared to the rest of her body, letting the music wash over her. It felt fantastic.

And yet, the nagging feeling at the back of her brain said otherwise. It told her off for allowing herself to get carried away. She needed to find Amenadiel before things got more obscured.

“Gonna go to the ladies room. I’ll be right back,” Chloe half yelled over the music to Maze.

She took the bait and nodded. “Okay, see you when you get back. I’ll meet you at the bar.”

Chloe smiled. “Sounds good,” she said and began to weave through the bodies, hoping once she got to some higher ground, she would spot Lucifer’s brother. It worked. As she was climbing the steps from the dance floor, she spotted the angel. So as not to raise suspicion from Maze – who was more than likely trying to keep an eye on her – she ducked behind a group of boisterous women and slunk her way over to him.

“Chloe! Always a pleasure to see you here! Is there anything I can do for you?” Amenadiel asked as he embraced her.

“Actually, there is. Can I talk to you for a minute somewhere quieter? I’ve got a favour to ask you.”

“Sure,” Amenadiel smiles at her. “We could go up to the penthouse?”

Chloe knows that’s much too dangerous. Plus, Maze would no doubt see her and would raise alarm bells. That was something she didn’t want. Maze was a great friend, but this was- this was extremely personal, and she knew that Maze didn’t do well with emotional stuff.

“Maybe we could sneak out the back, by the bathrooms so Maze doesn’t see?” Chloe asked sheepishly.

She watched Amenadiel look out on the dance floor. “Ah. You don’t want Maze to know your talking to me. Right. Okay, come on.”

He led Chloe toward the bathrooms and the back exit, trying to stay inconspicuous. The hallway was dimly lit, and the music was much more muffled, which was a godsend. Plus, the people were scarce here which made it easier to talk without being overheard.

She was impossibly nervous. It was hard enough knowing he was an actual angel. Asking him to use his celestial skills felt like she was taking advantage of him in some way. Which she wasn’t trying to. But how else was she going to get her letter to Lucifer? She wrung her hands and looked down when he turned to look back at her.

Amenadiel shoved his hands in the pockets of his slacks and smiled down at her. “What’s up?”

“Well,” Chloe starts, avoiding eye contact. “I was wondering if you could possibly- maybe take this to Lucifer?” She takes out the letter from her jeans pocket and holds it out to the angel across from her. Chloe prepared for the worst. She really shouldn't have asked him this, but she didn’t know any other way to get in contact with her partner.

She watched Amenadiel from the corner of her eye. He removed his hand out of his pocket and gently took the letter from her. In that moment, she almost let it slip that Lucifer had visited. She really wanted to tell someone, and who better than the Devil’s own brother. That it was the booze talking though. Thankfully, she had just enough sense left to hold her tongue. Letting him know his brother had visited would cause needless worry, especially since Lucifer hadn’t bothered to stay for long. It was best to keep that part to herself.

“Of course,” Amenadiel smiled warmly down at her, before turning thoughtful. “I actually was surprised you hadn’t done this sooner.” A sigh escaped her, and her shoulders released the tension she didn’t know she was holding. He’d actually agreed to do it, thank God.

“Well, you know, I’ve been busy with work and Trixie-” Chloe started to explain it away with an excuse but before she could finish, she got wrapped in Amenadiel’s warm embrace. When he finally let her go, he looked at her with honest eyes. “I know why, Chloe. And It’s okay to try and avoid the pain for a while, but sooner or later you’re going to have to face it head on.” He held the letter between them, “This means you’re beginning to come to terms with my brother’s absence. Just remember though, that you aren’t alone in this and that if you ever need to talk about it, Linda and I are here for you.”

Chloe wanted to cry but managed to hold it back. This certainly wasn’t the time or the place. She placed a hand on Amenadiel’s arm. “Thank you.”

“No problem,” he said before changing the subject. “I can’t get away to deliver this now though as I’m working, but I’ll have some time tomorrow if that’s okay?”

“That works for me. And thanks again, I really appreciate it,” Chloe smiled at Amenadiel and waved goodbye before walking back toward the inner workings of Lux.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maze and Chloe head to Lux, but it doesn't end well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Trigger warning - PANIC ATTACK* rating moved up from Teen to Mature for this reason. 
> 
> This chapter does involve a panic attack so I am leaving a warning for those sensitive to that sort of thing. It starts with the line "The elevator ride up was uncomfortably quiet." and ends with "Chloe snapped."   
> I'll also leave a > symbol for where the panic attack begins and ends to make it easier to find it.

Chloe stepped back out into the main floor of Lux and was met with loud music pumping out a wild beat as she exited from the hallway. Maze was at the bar. She moved through the slew of people toward the demon, her spirits notably lifted. Amenadiel had agreed to take her letter to Lucifer and her heart felt so much lighter than when she arrived. This was cause for celebration! She might finally get some answers to the questions that had been burning a hole in her mind since Lucifer had showed up. Her smile grew as she stepped next to Maze, finding a shot already waiting for her. Chloe raised the shot and clinked it against Maze’s. “Down the hatch!” She toasted to her friend and flicked her wrist, slamming the contents of the glass back.

“So, why did you lie about going to the bathroom Decker. I saw you with Amenadiel. Seriously, when were you gonna tell me about this ulterior plan of yours? And why am I not allowed to hear it, but Amenadiel is?”

Chloe choked, sputtering alcohol everywhere.

Maze’s questions sliced through any good feelings she had. Of course, she would wait until

Chloe had a shot in her mouth to ask her something like that. She felt so damn foolish. How could she think that Maze would have just let it go? How could she have thought that Maze wouldn’t have figured it out after she tried to pull the wool over her eyes?

The demons hand came up to give her a few good whacks on her back as Chloe coughed into a bar napkin. The alcohol was burning her nasal passages and lungs, making it hard to breathe. She chanced a sidelong glance at her friend. Maze was not impressed Chloe could see equal parts hurt and anger swirling in her eyes. Well, she might as well come clean. There was no point in denying it now, not when she had already been caught out for withholding the truth from her friend.

When her choking finally subsided, Chloe relented in telling the demon her plan.

“Alright, I’ll explain everything. It involves-” she trailed off for a moment, resigning the fact she had to say his name regardless how much it hurt. Taking a deep breath, she pushed on. “It involves Lucifer. That’s why I went to talk to his Amenadiel first. I had to ask him a favour and I know how upset you are at him for not taking you back to hell, so I didn’t want put salt in the wound.”

Maze squinted and shook her head at Chloe. “What? I can barely hear you over the music.”

Chloe could barely hear Maze either, leaning closer to her friend. “Can we find somewhere else a little less noisy to talk?”

Maze nodded and pointed to the elevator. “alright, then let’s go upstairs.”

Chloe blanched. “Oh, I don’t know if that’s such a good idea Maze.” The last time she’d been in Lucifer’s penthouse was when they said their goodbyes and he left to go back to Hell. The memory of it was still so very raw too. She wasn’t even sure if she could handle being in his space, constantly surrounded by his things without bursting into tears.

“Well, where else? Cause I’m not into doing the whole ‘girl party in the bathroom’ shit.” Maze said crossing her arms, indignant.

Maze had a point. The only possible place to talk freely was the penthouse. There was no other real option left to them right now. “Fine. But if I must do this, I’m gonna need a large glass of booze. And it better be the expensive stuff.”

“Alright, we can raid Lucifer’s bar. Come on.”

Chloe let out a defeated sigh. “After you,” she said, following without further complaint.

>The elevator ride up was uncomfortably quiet. It took everything in Chloe’s power not to press the emergency stop button. Instead, she took to wringing her hands as a sense of dread fell over her. She was heading the place where she lost everything. The place where her worst fears came true. She began to suck in deep breaths, hoping to mentally push the panic attack that was beginning to form.

The elevator ‘dinged’ and like nothing, Maze stepped out of the elevator.

Chloe on the other hand was having a hard time getting her legs to move. She braced herself against the elevator wall for a minute to gather her bearings. Her body shook uncontrollably.

“Well, are you coming or not?” Maze asked.

Chloe nodded, sucking in another deep breath. The wall of emotions she had been holding back was about to burst. Why did this have to be so fucking hard? Why couldn’t she just turn off her emotions? That would be so much easier.

The elevator doors shifted into motion and began to close as Maze stepped in to stop them. Chloe panicked and put an arm out to push them back subsequently stepping into the penthouse. She needed to sit. She needed to breathe- the outer corners of her vision were going dark. Rushing over to the caramel coloured sectional she sat down on it, placing her head between her legs and closed her eyes.

_Breathe, Chloe. Just focus on breathing. Focus on the physical sensations of your surroundings – your feet on the floor, the feeling of the couch underneath you and your hands on your knees. Breathe. Just breathe._

“You’re really not okay, are you?” Maze said, placing a large glass of Lucifer’s bourbon on the coffee table in front of her several minutes later.

>Chloe snapped. “Hmm, I wonder what gave you that idea Maze? The fact I’m having a panic attack. Or maybe it’s the fact I’m in the very room where I lost the person I am in love with, forever!” She immediately regretted it as soon as it came out of her mouth. It wasn’t her fault she had pretended that losing Lucifer hadn’t broken her. “I’m sorry, that was uncalled for. You’re pretty much in the same boat as me. I should have been more considerate.”

She grimaced and her fingers began to press circles into her temples, trying to will herself to calm down. Being in the penthouse was infinitely harder than she thought it would be. After a few minutes, Chloe’s panic attack started to lose its grip on her, and she was able to grab the glass and take a sip of the drink Maze had made. It burned down her throat in a comforting way and she clung to it like a lifeline. The sectional dipped beside her a moment later and her friend’s hand began to rub at her back.

Maze let out a small chuckle. “You know, back in Hell, we used to use panic attacks as a form of torture. I never thought I would _ever_ see myself trying to stop someone from having one.

Chloe scoffed. Honestly, she was just as surprised to see her help as Maze was. Usually her friend ran for the hills at any mention of emotions. “So what? Are you saying that you’re okay with listening to my problems now?”

“I wouldn’t go that far, Decker. But, I know this is a sensitive topic for you, so,” Maze rolled her eyes and sighed, “I guess I’ll do it just this once.”

Chloe looked at her friend and gave her an encouraging smile. “Thank you, Maze.”

She was still feeling a bit shaky, but with another several larger gulps from her glass she managed to fortify herself. Talking about it wouldn’t be such an easy feat. She stared into the bottom of the glass, swirling the amber coloured alcohol around hoping that the right thing to say could be found in its contents. Sadly, nothing of any value came to the surface. At least at first. It wasn’t until she finished the glass and placed it back on the table that she began to find the right words.

“I asked you to come here with me tonight because I wanted ask Amenadiel if he could deliver a letter for me. To Lucifer.” Chloe felt tears begin to prick at the corners of her eyes.

“Ah.” Maze said, piecing things together.

Chloe turned to face her friend. “You know, I haven’t told anyone this, but he came back one-night Maze,” she managed to get out before the tears fell in earnest. “It was a couple of weeks ago now. Honestly, I’m not sure why he even bothered though. He didn’t even stay long enough to make sure I was fully awake. I only realized he had visited after he accidentally woke me up when he took flight.” Maze attempted to interject, but Chloe cut her off. “And don’t you dare ask me if it was just my imagination because I know. I could smell his cologne in my room after he left.”

Maze shut her mouth and held her hands up in surrender.

Chloe grabbed a tissue from its home on the coffee table and wiped at her nose. “Why would he do that to me, Maze? To me! Not after I told him- I told him I loved him!” The sobs came freely now, she couldn’t hold it back anymore. The pain was just too much.

It took several minutes of bawling before she could manage to control herself again. In that time, Maze got up and grabbed Chloe another glass of bourbon and placed it back in front of her. “Thank you, Maze,” Chloe said, her voice thick with sorrow and beginning to slur as the alcohol caught up to her. At this rate, she wouldn’t be able to make it anywhere but to Lucifer’s bed. She just hoped she could stay awake long enough to finish telling Maze everything.

“I need answers.” Chloe said between gulps from her glass. “I need to know why he came but didn’t stay. I need to know why he didn’t wake me up and why he took my fucking choice away in the matter!” She yelled out at no one in particular, her mouth stumbling over the words. “So, I wrote him a letter. I shouldn’t have, but I wanted to give him the choice to explain himself. I just hope he has the sense to write one back. I have the right to know goddamnit!”

Chloe suddenly felt very tired. Everything was hitting her all at once.

Her head lolled toward her friend and looked at her through half lidded eyes. “I- I need sleep.”

“Yes, you do. Come on. I’ll help you up and get you over to the bed.” Maze hoisted Chloe up, placing one arm at her waist and throwing her arm over her shoulder. “Your definitely gonna feel this tomorrow. I’ll leave some water and some aspirin on the bedside table when you wake up.”

They awkwardly made their way up the steps and over to the foot of the king size bed. Maze sat her on the edge while she turned down the covers for her inebriated friend. Chloe began to sloppily take off her shoes, socks, and sweater, flinging them in the direction of the chair in the corner. Her garments missed completely and landed half-haphazardly on the floor. “Why is this hell hole so fucking hot! I’m boiling!” Chloe bellowed out, as she tried to take her jeans off and collapsed on the floor with them around her ankles. She let out a few sloppy giggles while she managed to get her pants off and stood back up, crawling onto the bed, and flopping down onto the silken sheets. It felt cool against her heated skin, and she hummed appreciatively.

Cracking one eye open, she looked at her friend and smiled. “Thank you for taking care of me, even though you don’t like to. I really do appreciate it Maze. I hope you know that.”

Maze looked down at her after placing the glass of water and medicine on the bedside table. “I do Chloe, and your welcome. Now get some sleep.”

She turned off the bedside light and rolled over, nestling in under the blankets and feeling more content than she had in ages. When Chloe was nearly sleep, she could have sworn she felt a body next to her and an arm wrapped casually over her hip. She instinctively snuggled in closer, letting the sense of peace it brought send her into dreams full of love and happiness for the first time since Lucifer had left for Hell.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amenadiel drops off the letter and Lucifer writes one of his own.

Chapter 5

Lucifer wrapped his bath robe around himself and toweled off his damp hair, feeling more like himself than he had in the last few days. Truth be told, the situation with Chloe had taken its toll on him. A good sleep and a shower had worked wonders on his clouded thoughts and allowed him to focus on the here and now.

He walked into the main living space and stopped dead. “Amenadiel? What are you doing here?”

Amenadiel gave a nod to Lucifer. “Hello brother. How has Hell been treating you?”

The blatant avoidance of his question was suspicious. “Hell is hell, what more can I say,” he said flippantly. “Now I’m asking you again, what are you doing here,” mild annoyance now laced Lucifer’s words. It seemed pressing the issue was the only way he would get any answers.

“I uh- I come bearing gifts. Or a letter more like.” Amenadiel pulled the letter from his back pocket and held it aloft between himself and Lucifer.

Lucifer took the envelope out of Amenadiel’s hand, his brows pulled together in confusion. A letter? Who would even think to write him- _oh_. He chanced a look down at the envelope in his hands and saw his name written in Chloe’s hand. He swallowed thickly, stunned to see something so mundane, yet so meaningful in his hands. His eyes trailed over the small, strung together letters of his name, scrawled neatly in the centre.

Lucifer’s stomach dropped.

Realizing he was just standing there staring at the letter in his hand, he pulled himself out of his thoughts and looked up at Amenadiel. “Thank you for delivering this. Do you mind if I-” Lucifer pointed over to the chairs and sectional in his living room.

Amenadiel bowed his head in acknowledgement. “Of course. I don’t have to be topside for a bit. I can wait.”

“In the meantime, help yourself to a drink if you like,” Lucifer waved in the direction of the bar before moving over to a chair, dropping heavily into it. With his forefinger, he ripped open the envelope to reveal the letter inside. Taking it out, he unfolded it not knowing if it was to praise or condemn him. His hands shook as he read its contents.

Chloe’s letter had started out with lovely pleasantries, much like every other letter ought to. It made him smile, knowing that he was in her thoughts. He missed her fiercely. What he wouldn’t do to be able to see her again.

But then, the mood of the letter changed. Chloe had revealed that she knew he had visited her while she had been asleep and wanted answers. He was stunned. Lucifer had thought he had been quite careful—he was certain she had still been asleep when he left her. How had she figured it out?

Well, one thing was for certain. When Chloe was faced with a puzzle, she was not one to give up until it was solved. As always, his clever detective. There was no way he could avoid telling her the bittersweet truth of it all now. He had to tell her why he came to her that night and why he couldn’t return. At least not for the foreseeable future. He hoped she would wait, but would never openly ask her to. He wouldn’t dare. Until then, the vision of her would glow like a beacon in his memory, keeping the hope alive that they would one day be reunited.

He looked up at his brother, his eyes brimming with tears. “Amenadiel, would you do me a favour? Would you take a letter back to the detective for me?”

“It would be my honour, Luci.”

Lucifer got up out of his tan chair and moved toward the desk in the corner. Pulling the drawers open he found a fountain pen and a piece of paper and began his reply—his large, loopy handwriting scrawling across the page with ease.

_My Dearest Detective,_

_To say I was shocked when my brother brought me your letter, would be an understatement—it however was very welcome distraction indeed. Hell has been tedious and tiresome, and your letter was like a breath of fresh air that I hadn’t realized I needed. I have missed you so very much. What I wouldn’t give to be where you are at this moment, but alas I cannot. So, this letter will have to do instead. I hope it will suffice._

_I suppose I should get to the heart of the matter and explain myself. It was not my intention to hurt you with my visitation, but to keep you from the hurt I knew you would experience had I woken you. In actual fact, I was never supposed to visit you in the first place. The incident only occurred because one evening 3 weeks ago—your time—I heard your voice call to me in the utmost distress while I was wandering the passages of Hell. I ask you, what was I to do? I couldn’t very well ignore it for fear you were in harms way, so I came to ensure you were alright. I did it out of concern for your well being—I couldn’t bear the thought of you lying in a pile of blood, heaven forbid, dying. However, when I arrived back on earth, I found that instead of you being gravely injured like my mind had conjured up, you were having what I can only assume was a nightmare. And not just any nightmare either my darling, you seemed to be dreaming of our goodbye. I know this because you kept on begging me not to go in your sleep and as I watched on, my heart broke anew. You see, I can’t chance visiting again. The demons still need a King to keep them in line and as much as I would love to leave and come back to you, it simply isn’t possible. At least not right now. Perhaps in the future there may be a possibility for me to return, but by that time you might have already moved on and I cannot ask you to wait. That wouldn’t be fair to you. I, however, would be tremendously honoured if you chose to wait out of your own volition. Know that whatever you choose, I will humbly respect your decision._

_I want you to know that I cherished the time we had and that being by your side made me a better man. I could not have chosen a better partner or a better person to be with Chloe. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. And as much as I enjoy the thought of writing you thousands of love letters, each more salacious than the last, I doubt my brother would be so keen to deliver them. He has a family now after all, and as the new proprietor of Lux he has now acquired much more responsibility than he’s used to. I suggest using his abilities sparingly from now on to deliver any future letters._

_With love from Hell and forever yours,_

_Lucifer xxx_

Once he had finished the letter, Lucifer fished around for an envelope in his desk drawers. It took a few moments, but he finally found one of reasonable size and wrote Chloe’s name upon the front. Then he slipped the letter inside it’s cover, sealing it to anyone’s eyes but hers and blessing it with a chaste kiss.

“Alright, brother here is my reply,” Lucifer said with a sad smile, handing over the letter.

Amenadiel clapped him on the shoulder. “I’ll get this to Chloe as soon as I can. It won’t leave my sight. I promise.”

Lucifer nodded. He knew his brother would do right by him, especially when it came to this.

“And Amenadiel?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you. Truly.”

Amenadiel nodded and smiled. “Any time, brother.” Giving a salute with the letter in hand, he pulled out his wings and in the blink of an eye was gone.

Lucifer took a deep breath and sighed. He hoped that Chloe wouldn’t be mad. He hoped she would understand now why he left her to her dreams that night and why he couldn’t just go back when he felt like it, as much as his heart yearned to.

Lucifer pulled himself from his thoughts and looked down at himself. He was still clad in his bath robe from his shower. _Right, time to prepare for the day I suppose._ Stopping by the bar, he poured himself a glass of scotch and carried it with him into his closet to sip on it while he found something to wear. After all, souls weren’t going to torture themselves and the Demons needed to see his presence to remind them who was in charge.

~i~

It had been a few days since her letter was handed off to Amenadiel and Chloe was worried. She’d heard nothing back. Not even a text from the angel letting her know that her letter had been delivered. What if he had lost the letter? What if something had happened to it while he was traveling to Hell? What if Lucifer didn’t want to read it? Her gut began to tie up in knots.

“Yo, Decker! Any new bodies drop? I’m getting bored.” Maze sat down next to her, pulling Chloe out of her own head in an instant.

“Um, not yet. Sorry Maze,” she said tidying her desk up, the loose papers filed back into their respective manila folders.

Maze huffed out an exasperated sigh. “This is lame. I’m gonna go and see if there are any new bounties up for grabs. Catch you later.”

Chloe smiled up at the demon. “See you later Maze. I’ll let you know if anything comes through.”

With a nod, Maze smirked and took off.

Chloe rolled her eyes fondly. It was nice having Maze around, but it was hard to keep her entertained when things hit a lull. Thankfully, she had bounty hunting to keep herself occupied so Chloe could catch up on paperwork.

Her cell phone buzzed in her pocket. Pulling it out, she looked at the notification and immediately her heart quickened. Amenadiel had sent a message. Finally.

_Hey Chloe, I dropped off the letter. I also have a surprise for you. When can I come by and_

_drop it off?_

_-A_

A surprise? What could it be? Instantly she thought of Lucifer visiting again. Her heart leapt into her throat at the idea. Then her logical brain kicked in and she shook that thought right out of her head. That wouldn’t make sense. Lucifer would have to have someone keeping an eye on Hell while he was gone. There was no way he could be back. Still, a small corner of her heart held onto the hope that he’d come see her. It was so hard not to.

_Can you meet me at my house in two hours? I’m almost finished for the day at the precinct. Just need to take care of some paperwork first._

_-C_

She waited with anticipation for Amenadiel’s text, her leg twitching excitedly.

_Okay, see you then._

_-A_

For the next hour Chloe tried her hardest to focus on her paperwork. It was impossible. She was too worked up about what the surprise was and Amenadiel had been so cryptic. It was driving her crazy. Eventually she gave up trying to finish anything. It was a lost cause anyways. Packing her things into her bag she turned off her computer and her light, more than ready to leave for the day and find out what Amenadiel was keeping from her.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chloe gets a letter back from Lucifer that spurs an idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for taking the time out of your day for reading, giving kudos and commenting! It really makes my day <3 Also, you're in luck! This chapter got too long and I had to split it. So this won't be the last chapter after all! And another big thank you to @_booksbyj_ on twitter for continuing to help me by beta reading and editing this! I could not have done this without you!

Chloe unlocked her apartment and pushed the door open, stepping through into the dark entryway. Dropping her stuff off on the kitchen counter she reached for the light and nearly jumped right out of her skin.

“Amenadiel! I didn’t see you there,” Chloe breathed out.

“Hello Chloe,” Amenadiel chuckled. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“No, that’s alright. Have you been here long?”

“No, I just flew in a few moments ago.”

Chloe nodded. “Would you like something to drink? I could make some coffee if you’d like?”

“No, I’m good thanks. I can’t stay long, but I thought you’d want this.” He held out an envelope out to her.

She took it with trembling hands, seeing her name written with Lucifer’s curvy script and looked up at Amenadiel. “Is- is this the surprise?” Her heart sinks. Why did she do that to herself? Why did she have to hold out hope that Lucifer would be able to step away from Hell and visit her again. She knew that there was no guarantee he could come. Why had she allowed herself to be played like that? Well even if he didn’t come, at least he had sent a letter back. Hopefully, he’d at least answered her questions. It didn’t make the pain any less real though.

“Yeah.” Amenadiel faltered. “But you don’t seem happy about that. Chloe, you didn’t think that he would be with me, did you?”

Chloe’s eyes brimmed with tears as she threw up her hands in defeat. “Yeah, actually. A part of me did. You said a surprise and I thought-” her voice cracks, “I thought that he just might have found a way to come back for a little bit, you know.”

Amenadiel’s demeanour instantly turned sympathetic as he pulled his hands out of his pockets and moved toward her, taking her up in his strong arms.

She allowed herself to cry on his chest as his hug comforted her.

“I’m sorry Chloe. It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have confused you like that.”

Chloe sniffled and looked up. “No. I shouldn’t have let hope get the best of me. I knew it was nearly impossible, but my heart couldn’t let go of the thought of him coming back.” She felt the letter still gripped in her hand around Amenadiel’s back and pulled away from his embrace. “Thanks,” she said between a watery smile.

“Any time.” He replied before letting her go and looking at her clock. “But I’ve got to cut the visit short I’m afraid. I’m due back at Lux.”

Chloe wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and nodded. “Yeah, I know.”

But before Amenadiel turned to leave, he put a hand on her arm comfortingly. “Hey, it’s going to be okay. Things are going to get easier, but you’ve got to allow it to take time. And if you need anything don’t forget Linda and I are only a phone call away.”

Chloe placed her free hand on top of his and gave it a few pats. “Thanks again, Amenadiel. I mean it. I’m so grateful that you were able to do this for me. For us,” She said, holding Lucifer’s letter in her hand.

With a smile, Amenadiel waved a silent goodbye letting the door click silently shut behind him.

Chloe looked down at the letter in her hand and gave a small smile. Regardless if she was disappointed about Lucifer not being here, she still was happy that he had at least sent something in his absence. Anything to quell the pain of being separated from the man she loved.

Walking over to her couch, she turned on the side lamp and sat down holding the letter in her lap. She sniffed the air. An odd smell hit her, and she scrunched up her nose in disgust. Sulphur and smoke? Chloe picked up the letter and smelt it. Yep, a definitive vague burnt sulphur like scent. Is that what Hell smelt like? Yuck. She was glad she didn’t have to deal with breathing that smell on a daily basis. Instantly she felt bad. Lucifer did though and if Hell smelt this awful, she could only imagine what it looked like. It seemed like a truly horrible place to be stuck in for eternity. She really hoped he would find a way to come back. He didn’t deserve to be trapped like that.

Biting the bullet, she ripped open the letter and pulled it out. Reading it was both heartbreaking and wonderful. By the end of it she was in tears. This was so unfair. But one thing was for certain, she would wait. There was no question about it. Chloe didn’t care how long it would take; she would stay true to him. If he had to go to Hell for her, she could wait. His visit finally made sense too. She couldn’t blame him for checking on her, not when she was having that damn nightmare. Thankfully, it hadn’t occurred since Lucifer’s visit and she hoped it would stay that way. The pain of that night needed to stay in the past. What she needed now was hope, and if she knew Lucifer, he did too.

Chloe hugged the letter to her chest and sighed. There must be something she could do to help keep his spirits up. Lucifer described Hell as tedious and tiresome. What a way to live—in a place you hate with no family or friends. It broke her heart all over again. There had to be a way to give him hope for the future.

Then she got an idea; it was like a flash of lightning had hit her brain. She knew exactly what to do. She would start working on it in the morning. Thankfully, it was her day off and Trixie was due back from Dan’s. She’d need help if she was going to pull it off and her daughter was the best person for the job.

~~~

“Mom! I missed you!” Trixie ran through the door like a whirlwind, colliding with Chloe at full force.

“Hey Monkey! I missed you too!” Chloe said excitedly, wrapping her arms around her daughter. “How was your Dad’s?”

Trixie smiled. “Great. I’m gonna go put my stuff away now.”  
  


Chloe opened her arms so her daughter could escape and found Dan standing by the door. “Hi Chlo, how’s things?”

“I’m good, but by the look on your face, I can tell what Trix said wasn’t entirely true. What happened?”

Dan sighed. “Oh, you know, the usual tween stuff. I caught her using her phone after bedtime, she tried to sneak a chocolate cake in the grocery cart while we were shopping and I don’t know how many times I had to tell her to turn down her music.”

A chuckle escaped her. “Yep, that sounds more like Trixie to me. Other than that, though, did you have a good time?”

“Oh yeah. We got a chance to climb the wall at the Y which we haven’t done in a while. It was fun.”

Trixie came back out from her bedroom. “Yeah Mom, it was awesome! I finally made it all the way to the top!”

Chloe smiled. “That’s great baby.”

“Alright Trix, I’m gonna go now. You take care of your Mom Okay?” Dan said, opening his arms for a hug.

Trixie nodded and walked into his arms. “Bye Dad. See you Next week.”

Dan let go and stood up, giving a short wave at Chloe before taking his leave.

As soon as he was gone, Chloe turned to her daughter excitedly. “Trixie, I need your help. You know how Lucifer left to go help his family out in Florida? Well, he’s feeling kind of down and I have an idea that might just cheer him up. Do you want to help me?

Trixie’s eyes almost bugged out of her head. “You mean it? Of course, I’ll help! Anything for Lucifer!”

Chloe’s smile almost reached her ears. “I’m so glad, monkey! I can’t wait to tell you!”

~i~

_Another bloody day finished, thank Dad_. Lucifer’s day had been particularly trying. There was a mix-up on a docket regarding a soul’s torture, one of the demons had unwittingly let a hell hound into a souls hell loop and to top it off, he found himself aiding in the continued torture of Father Kinley. Just what he needed—to see the very man who had started this whole mess. It was his job after all and he knew that there would be good days and bad, but it seemed to compile with all the other things that were going on in his life right now.

Lucifer unfurled his wings as soon as he had left Kinley’s Hell loop and took off. There was nothing like having the wind rush through them as he climbed higher and higher. Up here, he could forget everything for a moment. It gave the illusion he had the freedom to do what he liked. He needed that right now. Stopping to observe his kingdom, Lucifer smiled. The demons looked like ants and the basalt formations, ant hills—so very unlike what reality painted them as. Distance, he figured was a much better solution then having an emotional breakdown on the ground below. It helped him gain perspective when his thoughts were more on the morose side. Not to mention that the gloom was much less oppressive up here.

Pivoting in the air, he flew off toward the palace feeling lighter than he had all day.

Lucifer landed on the grand front steps with a gentle thump. Dusting off the ash from himself and giving a shake of his wings, he tucked them back in before walking in through the large black front doors and headed to the dining room.

Dinner was always a lacklustre affair and the food? Well, no matter what the cooks did, it still managed to taste like ash. He knew it wasn’t because of the cooks themselves as he had chosen Hell’s finest. It was more along the lines of Hell not being capable of having anything that did not reflect it in some way. Which made him yearn for Earth food even more so. What he wouldn’t give to have, well, anything really. He would even take a handful of perfectly ripe strawberries at this point.

Throwing his napkin down on his plate, he rose with a weary sigh and left to find a more pleasant distraction. Like music. Music was the one good thing that Hell couldn’t touch for him. Oh sure, some forms of music were inspired by himself and Hell, but it could never be completely tarnished by Hell itself. Walking into his living room, he made his way over to the piano and went to sit down upon the bench when something white caught his eye. Climbing to his feet, he found an overstuffed envelope upon the top of his grand piano and moved it closer toward himself.

It was from the detective.

_Chloe._


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer finds out he is loved more than he realizes, and Chloe mourns the loss of Lucifer with Trixie in a special way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the final chapter! Thank you everyone for being a part of this journey with me and I hope you enjoyed this story as much as I did writing it.

Chapter 7

Sitting heavily back down upon the piano bench he stared at it in disbelief. It had been several months, hadean time, since he’d heard from her and thought she had taken his advice not to force Amenadiel into becoming a messenger boy rather strongly. Not that Lucifer was complaining. He was overjoyed to see another letter sitting upon his piano. He wondered what could be contained inside it. Its contents made it looked like an overstuffed pillow. Well, if he was going to open it, a drink was certainly in order. Moving over to the bar, Lucifer grabbed a glass and poured a heavy amount of scotch into it then walked back over toward the piano and sat down again. He took a sip to strengthen his resolve, then opened the envelope with bated breath.

A plethora of items fell out as he reached inside the envelope to pull out the letter. Looking at the piano top, it was covered with folded pieces of paper, some photos, a silver shoe from a Monopoly game and what appeared to be a lock of hair. Lucifer’s brows nearly fused together. What _was_ all this? Perhaps the letter would explain.

It wasn’t a long letter by any means. Barely a page, but its contents had his eyes welling up with tears. Chloe and her urchin had put together a care package of sorts. One that they thought would help him endure his confinement and help keep his spirits up. Not only that, but Chloe had declared she would indeed wait for him to return, no matter how long it took.

Lucifer took his eyes off of the letter to examine the items before him. Opening one of the folded pieces of paper, he found a picture that Trixie had drawn of himself, Daniel, her mother and her all standing together with the word’s ‘family’ written underneath them. Trixie thought of him as Family? The devil? Lucifer barked out a laugh in disbelief but underneath it all his heart began to warm to the idea. Could he really consider them family? He wasn’t quite sure. The last time he had a family, he was thrown out into Hell and he certainly didn’t want something that to happen again. But the detective and her offspring were different. Maybe there was still hope for him yet. His eyes moved from the urchin’s picture to the little pewter shoe and the lock of hair. The shoe was an easy guess as to why they had sent it. The shoe represented the token he had taken from their first game night with Chloe and the child. The lock of hair though. That was a new one.

He looked among the folded papers which he could only presume were more drawings from Chloe’s spawn, and found the photos stacked together. One was of himself and the detective laughing at the LAPD’s annual cookout. Another was of Amenadiel, Charlie and Linda standing together as a family and another was of Chloe and the urchin. However, in this one the detective looked surprisingly different. It must have been taken recently. Her hair was cut with the most becoming fringe he had ever seen. Picking the lock of hair up, he twirled it around his fingers and a familiar scent hit his nose. Chloe always used hair conditioner with a tropical scent. Lucifer closed his eyes and smiled. One thing for certain, this was no shoe. This keepsake was of a different calibre entirely. It was a physical part of herself she willingly gave up so he could have a part of her with him in Hell. And if he wasn’t mistaken, this all-too human gesture was considered a sign of the love and devotion she felt for him.

Lucifer’s chin trembled, his eyes welling up with tears. Even with these—rather lovely—gifts, it didn’t take away the fact that they were nothing compared to the real thing. What it did do is cause him to miss them more and that was something he couldn’t allow. Missing them meant more feelings. Feelings he couldn’t permit if he was going to continue on being the King he needed to be. The pain was just too much and the inclination to send her another letter was squashed instantly. It was for his own good and for hers. She would be much better off if he stopped this charade, stringing her along with letters and allowing Chloe to get her hopes up. He couldn’t bear the thought of disappointing her when it could take literal earth-decades for him to get back to earth. And how much she would she change in that time? She was mortal. Would she be frail and grey by the time he made it back? Would the urchin be an adult with a family of her own? Would Chloe still want him after being apart for so long? Would she even remember him? Lucifer let out a pained growl, grabbing the glass of scotch that was on the piano top and flung it toward his coffee table. Smashing both to pieces, it sent alcohol spraying all over his grey area rug. It should have been enough for him that she said she would wait. What more could he ask of her? She had tried to do him a kindness by sending these rather useless, but meaningful trinkets. Certainly, he could do the same by staying strong for her. If the detective could take care of herself and the urchin while dealing with this forced separation, then he could pull himself together and do the same.

Deep breaths came heaving out of his chest and his cheeks were damp when he came back to reality. He wiped hastily at his face and tried to settle his breathing while sitting heavily back down on the piano’s bench, hoping no demon had spied another of his emotional outbursts. He needed to get these damned emotions under control! Footsteps came into the room from behind him just as he had gotten his breathing back to normal. What a close call that was.

“My king, is everything alright? I heard a crash and came to investigate.”

Lucifer turned. “Yes, Amaros everything is fine,” he said in a clipped tone.

The demon continued to stand there awkwardly looking from the broken glass on the floor to Lucifer. “My Lord?”  
  


With a roll of his eyes, Lucifer sighed and looked up at the demon. “You may go back to your usual duties. I will clean this mess up myself.”

Amaros let out a sigh of relief, nodded in understanding and scurried out of sight without another word.

Relief flooded Lucifer’s body. He had no intention of letting the demon any further into his private quarters to clean up the mess he had made. Not when such precious objects were splayed out upon the top of his piano for all to see. He needed to find a place to hide them from prying eyes. The shoe and lock of hair could easily fit in the pocket of his slacks but the drawings from the urchin and the pictures would have to be put in a place his demons would not find. The obvious choice had already been ruled out; as much his personal suite reflected his penthouse, there was no need for safes in Hell. The only other safe place was his library. The demons would come in and dust his old tomes but never thought to pull any of his books out to read. They wouldn’t dare without his permission anyway. They would be hidden in plain sight. It was the perfect ruse.

Walking over to the first bookshelf he pulled out his first edition of Moby Dick and placed the urchin’s pictures gently in between the pages. Closing the book, he replaced it and went to find William Shakespeare's poems. There was a poem that was very fitting to hold the secret pictures. He flipped the pages until he found it—A lover’s Complaint. Perfect.

Before closing the book, Lucifer’s finger traced Chloe’s face in the top picture, wondering when he’d ever be able to touch her soft skin again.

~i~

“What are we doing here Mom?” Trixie asked as she passed over the threshold of a jewellery store.

“Well Monkey,” Chloe said placing her hands upon her daughter’s shoulders and moving her over to one of the glass cases. “I thought we could look at getting something that reminded us of Lucifer. You know, so that we’d always have something to remember him by.”

Trixie scrunched up her face in confusion. “But mom, don’t you already have a necklace from him? Why would you want another?”

“Your right, I do. But I thought this was a way we could share missing him together. I saw those drawings you sent him, and I know you miss him more than you want to admit. I just thought this would help.”

Trixie looked up. “Your right mom, I do miss him lots and it would be really nice to have something to remember him by.”

“Okay, why don’t you go find something you like and come find me after.”

“Sure mom!” Trixie smiled brightly and went to go check out another glass case while Chloe browsed the rings and bracelets for a bit. There wasn’t much of anything that had caught her eye yet, but she was hopeful.

“Hey Mom, come here! I think I’ve found something I like!” Trixie exclaimed, urging Chloe over with a frantic wave of her hand. “This one,” she pointed to a silver heart shaped locket. On closer inspection Chloe realized that the front looked like folded angel wings, which immediately sent her heart racing. She never once told Trixie about Lucifer being the Devil, let alone one of God’s angels so what gave her the idea to choose this one in particular? Had Trix figured it out by herself?

“Oh Monkey, that’s beautiful. I love it.” Standing up from her bent position, she caught the attention of the salesperson and waved them over. “We’ll take this locket please. And while you’re at it could you help find something for me? We both lost some one really close to us and wanted to find something to remind us of them.”

The salesperson smiles and looks at Trixie then back to Chloe. “Of course. May I ask if this person was your husband?”

Chloe’s eyes went wide, and she felt her cheeks grow hot. “Um, no. Not my husband.” She turned to Trixie. “Babe, why don’t you go explore in the store a bit. Just make sure not to horse around and don’t go touching anything, please.”

Chloe watched as Trixie’s face became painted with confusion, but she didn’t push. “Alright Mom.” her daughter turned and walked over to the children’s jewellery section.

Pivoting back to the salesperson, she leaned in a bit and lowered her voice. “He was my partner. Both professionally and outside of work.” Chloe paused for a moment, thinking what to say to the clerk so she didn’t sound crazy. “He had to go back home, and well; we can’t go visit him where he is.”

The salesperson nodded knowingly. “I see, a long-distance romance is it? Well, I think I know what might take your fancy then. Here we have some gorgeous love medallions or as the French say, Médaille D’Amour. The inscription is from the famous French love poem ‘ _L'éternelle chanson’_ and means more than yesterday; much less than tomorrow. It signifies that one’s love for another grows with time.

Chloe’s eyes welled up with tears. This was exactly what she had been looking for. Her love for Lucifer had only grown over these past 2 months, no matter how much distance had been put between them and the letter he had sent only solidified the fact. He might not be able to come back to earth right now or if she was being realistic about it, in her lifetime, but that wouldn’t stop her from loving him more with each coming day.

She gave a watery smile to the salesperson. “It’s perfect. I think I’ll take this one.” She pointed to a simple, modest sized medallion in the middle of the case. The salesclerk gently took it out and handed it to her to take a closer look. The medallion held a small diamond in the plus’ centre and a small ruby as a minus sign alongside the script, giving off an air of understated elegance which fit her style to a T. The meaning behind such an item would go largely unnoticed to those around her but to Chloe it would

speak volumes and help her keep focused on the hope she already had felt growing in her heart. Lucifer would return. It might not be today or tomorrow, but he would find a way to come back and when he did, she would be waiting.


End file.
